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CAR PRANKS
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Over 300,000 posters
Pranks - Jokes - Gags - Humor - funny
jokes
10,000 JOKES
CONTENTS
A-L
CONTENTS L-Z
Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A1: Toes Go In First.
A2: Tits Go In Front.
Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?
A1: Because they can spell it.
A2: Because they can spell BWM.
Q: Why do blondes like the GST?
(GST -- Goods and Services Tax now in effect in Canada)
A1: Because they can spell it.
A2: Because they can spell GTS.
Q: What is 74 to a blonde?
A: 69 plus G.S.T.
BLONDE TERMINOLOGY BLONDE JOKESAnally -- occurring yearly
Artery -- study of paintings
Bacteria -- back door of cafeteria
Barium -- what doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel -- letter like A.E.I.O.U
Caesarian section -- district in Rome
Cat scan -- searching for kitty
Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her
Colic -- sheep dog
Coma -- a punctuation mark
Congenital -- friendly
D&C -- where Washington is
Diarrhea -- journal of daily events
Dilate -- to live long
Enema -- not a friend
Fester -- quicker
Fibula -- a small lie
Genital -- non-Jewish
G.I. Series -- soldiers' ball game
Grippe -- suitcase
Hangnail -- coat hook
Impotent -- distinguished, well known
Intense pain -- torture in a teepee
Labour pain -- got hurt at work
Medical staff -- doctor's cane
Morbid -- higher offer
Nitrate -- cheaper than day rate
Node -- was aware of
Outpatient -- person who had fainted
Pap smear -- fatherhood test
Pelvis -- cousin of Elvis
Post operative -- letter carrier
Protein -- favouring young people
Rectum -- damn near killed 'em
Recovery room -- place to do upholstery
Rheumatic -- amorous
Scar -- rolled tobacco leaf
Secretion -- hiding anything
Seizure -- Roman emperor
Serology -- study of knighthood
Tablet -- small tablet
Terminal Illness -- sickness at airport
Tibia -- country in North Africa
Tumor -- an extra pair
Urine -- opposite of you're out
Varicose -- located nearby
Vein -- conceited
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DREAM HOST WEB HOSTING
BAR JOKE
A drunk orders himself a
beer
A man walks into the front
door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. he staggers up to the
bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the
bartender for a drink.
The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that
he has already had plenty to drink--he could not be served
additional liquor at this bar but could get a cab called for
him.
The drunk is briefly surprised then softly scoffs, grumbles,
climbs down off the bar stool, and staggers out the front
door.
A few minutes later, the same drunk stumbles in the side
door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a
drink. The bartender comes over, and still politely--but
more firmly refuses service to the man due to his
inebriation. Again, the bartender offers to call a cab for
him.
The drunk looks at the bartender for a moment angrily,
curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while
grumbling and shaking his head.
A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the
back door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool,
gathers his wits, and belligerently orders a drink.
The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man
that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and
either a cab or the police will be called immediately.
The surprised drunk looks at the bartender and in hopeless
anguish, cries "Man! How many bars do you work at? |
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