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CAR PRANKS
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Over 300,000 posters
Pranks - Jokes - Gags - Humor - funny jokes
10,000 JOKES
CONTENTS
A-L
CONTENTS
L-Z
A little head
A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender can't help but stare at the guy because in contrast to
his large muscles, the man has a head that is the size of an orange.
The bartender hands the guy his beer and says, "You know, I'm not
gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is
phenomenal! But I have a question, why is your head so small?"
The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many
times. "One day," he begins, "I was hunting and got lost in the
woods. I heard someone crying for help. I followed the cries and
they led me to a frog that was sitting next to a stream."
"No shit?" says the bartender, thoroughly intrigued.
"Yeah, so I picked up the frog and it said, Kiss me. Kiss me and I
will turn into a genie and grant you three wishes."
"Keep going!"
I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss.
POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman.
She said, "You now have three wishes."
I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, "I want a body
like Arnold Schwarzenneger."
She nodded, snapped her fingers, and POOF there I was, so huge that
I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked!
She then asked, "What will be your second wish?"
"What next?" begged the bartender.
I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, "I want to make
sensuous love with you here by this stream." She nodded, laid down,
and beckoned to me. We made love right there by that stream for
hours!
Afterwards, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our
glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, "You know, you do
have one more wish. What will it be?"
I looked at her and replied, "How 'bout a little head?"
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DREAM HOST WEB HOSTING
BAR JOKE
A drunk orders himself a
beer
A man walks into the front
door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. he staggers up to the
bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the
bartender for a drink.
The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that
he has already had plenty to drink--he could not be served
additional liquor at this bar but could get a cab called for
him.
The drunk is briefly surprised then softly scoffs, grumbles,
climbs down off the bar stool, and staggers out the front
door.
A few minutes later, the same drunk stumbles in the side
door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a
drink. The bartender comes over, and still politely--but
more firmly refuses service to the man due to his
inebriation. Again, the bartender offers to call a cab for
him.
The drunk looks at the bartender for a moment angrily,
curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while
grumbling and shaking his head.
A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the
back door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool,
gathers his wits, and belligerently orders a drink.
The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man
that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and
either a cab or the police will be called immediately.
The surprised drunk looks at the bartender and in hopeless
anguish, cries "Man! How many bars do you work at? |
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