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CAR PRANKS
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Over 300,000 posters
Pranks - Jokes - Gags - Humor - funny jokes
10,000 JOKES
CONTENTS
A-L
CONTENTS
L-Z
| Dirty
One Liners
Q. Do you know what the square root of 69 is?
A. Ate something. (8.xxxxxxx....)
Q. But do you know what 6.9 is?
A. A good thing screwed up by a period.
Q. Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?
A. It changes their blood type.
Q. What do Lifesavers do that a man can't?
A. Come in eight flavors.
Q. What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?
A. The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
Q. How can you tell a Sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A. A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
Q. What's six inches long that women love?
A. Folding money.
Q. What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
A. Erotic is using a feather....kinky is using the whole chicken.
Q. What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A. One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play
with.... the other is used to carry groceries.
Q. What is the new gay website address?
A. c : enter ### (see colon enter pound pound pound).
Q. What is the new O.J. website address?
A. slash slash backslash escape.
Q. What do gay men refer to hemorrhoids as?
A. Speed bumps.
Q. What's got four legs and one arm?
A. A Rottweiler.
Q. How can you tell if your girlfriend's frigid?
A. When you open her legs the lights go on.
Q. When does a cub become a boy scout?
A. When he eats his first Brownie.
Q. How does a Scotsman find a sheep in tall grass?
A. Very satisfying.
Q. Did you hear about the 150 lb. man who had 75 lb. testicles?
A. He was half nuts!!!
Q. What do you call a blonde grabbing at air?
A. Collecting her thoughts.
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mom.
Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.
Q: How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A: The cake jumps out of the girl.
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A: Full.
Q: What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
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DREAM HOST WEB HOSTING
BAR JOKE
A drunk orders himself a
beer
A man walks into the front
door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. he staggers up to the
bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the
bartender for a drink.
The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that
he has already had plenty to drink--he could not be served
additional liquor at this bar but could get a cab called for
him.
The drunk is briefly surprised then softly scoffs, grumbles,
climbs down off the bar stool, and staggers out the front
door.
A few minutes later, the same drunk stumbles in the side
door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a
drink. The bartender comes over, and still politely--but
more firmly refuses service to the man due to his
inebriation. Again, the bartender offers to call a cab for
him.
The drunk looks at the bartender for a moment angrily,
curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while
grumbling and shaking his head.
A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the
back door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool,
gathers his wits, and belligerently orders a drink.
The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man
that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and
either a cab or the police will be called immediately.
The surprised drunk looks at the bartender and in hopeless
anguish, cries "Man! How many bars do you work at? |
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